Motivation

I can officially say that “Senioritis” is hitting me with full affect. In my earlier years of high school, I was just lazy with my homework, slacking off until the last possible moment on my assignments was a complete norm, while was caught up in almost everything else. Nowadays there is a list of things piling up, and I’m almost drowning in the responsibilities I’m delaying. Don’t take my self-acknowledged laziness as a sign that I don’t work hard on what I do, I usually give it at least eighty percent effort. It’s just that as of recently I am noticing all of my duties in a singular view: seeing all of them at once.

What really set in my mind that I’m slacking was my senior pictures. I wasn’t really too thrilled about them, but I knew my mom really cared for them. We had a photographer take pics of my brother and I around the train station and the Heward House, and when my mother finally got copies of the photos I noticed one thing, I’ve gotten a lot bigger than I thought. Now, I could list every reason why I don’t have time to work out, run, or eat healthy, but I know the excuses get you nowhere in life. I haven’t gone to a gym since sophomore year, and I really enjoy my Coca Cola. You may also think, “Well golly gee Frankie, don’t you have a mirror?” Yes I do. Every time before I take a shower I take a look at myself in my bathroom mirror, not out of narcissism, but to look at how much acne I have. Not in two years have I noticed that I have gained that much weight. I noticed that I have gained weight, but I never thought that much of it.

Another thing I’ve set aside are my senior duties. I haven’t signed up for any scholarships, haven’t finished FAFSA, and I haven’t attended many games or dances, anything senior-ish. I do have a valid excuse on this one with NAVIT taking up half my day but, still. I feel like I have completely skipped my high school experience with the amount of college work I do. I’m not entirely sad that I’m missing out on these things, I’ve got a plan set up to where I won’t need scholarships and I’ve always been a sort of introvert, but  I feel like the feeling of being a senior never truly kicked in for me. I still feel like I am a lower class-man: having little responsibilities, but that just isn’t the case anymore.

With all of this stuff being said, it becomes clear that I lack the proper motivation, the proper drive to get things done. I’m glad to say that I am starting to work on all my failings now, starting this very day; not because I want to, but because I can. Not everyone in this world has the opportunities I am gifted with, I might as well make use of them. Even just staying in shape and going out of my way to attend events can be a starter for the larger picture.